Refraction.

14th November, 2015
11 p.m.

Refraction

He's listening to a song on repeat.

He says it helps with the wounds
And that hurts a little
In a bittersweet kind of way
Because I have the same wounds
And we'll have the same scars

It's like how some people get tattoos together
Our matching scars.
Except,
I'm terrified of needles.
And he's got plenty of tattoos already.

And that kind of sums it all up
For the both of us.
Opposites that attracted
And refracted
Through the prism of circumstances
Into irreconcilable differences
Knowing fully well that there could have been
Just white light
But it wasn't.
Fuck you science.

And I'm listening to the same song on repeat.

Except it isn't healing my wounds.

I wonder why the song
Chose him over me...
Maybe because he needed the words more than I did
I could write my own after all,
he had said.
Words which would only make it worse for the both of us.
For me in epiphanies
And for him in the 'could have been's.

And now we're both listening to the same song on repeat

While we stare at our chats
And stay online
Listening to all that is said
In the presence of our silences
When 'we', are nowhere to be found.

And he sends me another song.

I know I will cry to sleep today.
And he will stay awake.
Opposites that attracted
And refracted

Me, into the red of the sunset

Him, into the colourless night

Shadow and light

And 'us' into the twinkle of that star

That was dead when we wished upon it

But no one knew

Because light

Didn't travel fast enough

And time passed us by too soon

And I write my apologies
In my head
For putting these words out there
Making it worse for the both of us
Hoping he'll not read them
While wanting him to.

He's still listening to the song on repeat
While my heart plays out our silences on loop.