Twin losses (for lack of a better title. I'm still working on it in my sleep.)

I give
You refuse with open arms.
You take from me, without taking
And in so doing,
Without ever having to give back.

I open my arms to ask
Knowing, from years between us
That you say yes with fists tight shut
But I ask still
For faith
Is our only hope
And in hope I put all my faith.

You've loved me
And I you
But the years show on my face
When it's only been days
And the furrows crease your brow.

You say you don't know
Why I'm wounded
I believe you,
and continue
hurting anyway.

You didn't mean to
I didn't either.
And between this meaning to
Not meaning to lose
I lost
Everything that ever meant
Anything to me.

You lost, too.

So did we.

(I think this could be better, but it looked too sad sitting in my drafts folder for so long, I decided to put it up and edit later when inspiration strikes.)

Common theme: Razor blade

I should ideally begin this with disclaimers but I'm not going to. Poetry should just be. I write it for my own reasons and you take from it what you will and what you do. I just hope, in some way or another, it helps you, even if to simply feel.

I was sitting on my window ledge at night yesterday when I wrote these two poems, which I haven't titled yet:

1.

The creases on the spine

Of my favourite book

Are the number of times

I chose to drown 

In words

Instead of creasing

My wrists 

Under a blade.

2.

Killing myself

Was never on the cards.

I just wanted to sleep

And never wake up.

So imagine my horror

When not only did I wake

But I did

Into a living nightmare

of shifty eyes

judgmental looks

And spontaneously combusting

parental tears.

Of anxious questions

Curious fears.

And a life devoid of

Razor blades,

Even when all I wanted

Was to shave.

(First readers' responses: Nikita thinks this is funny in a very twisted dark humour kind of way. I think it's just funny. Ananya thinks I'm crazy. Ashu thinks this is beautiful. :P)

(Not a disclaimer: This is not me making slight of suicide. I'm not insensitive to the struggles of people. I just have a perspective and I write. If you take offence easily, please don't read my blog. Thanks. Bye!)